Weak-end

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Originally uploaded by Rudhraigh.

Friday
Woke up, throat sore as had forgotten to turn off air conditioner.
Didn't sleep well.
Went to work. Was very tired. Had stayed up late watching episode of OC. Very good, much scandal. Worth it.
Upon arrival familiar confusion by lack of specific things to do.
Confronted old problem, left to own recogniscence have always been quite lazy.
Stared at screen in vague manner, hoping that it looked like work but actually incapable of reading any of the text due to tiredness.
Span on chair for a bit to wake up, was upset because someoene had broken its tilt function.
Checked my websites.
Checked my mail.
Wrote a mail.
Went to water cooler for some hot Cold Tea Action.
After a while was suspicious that the sub-editor was suspiscious of my lack of work.
Went to lunch in Times Square Mall: Sushi
Came back. Still nothing to do.
Finally got so bored that I asked for something to do.
Was given boring work.
Shit.
Eventually, after spending four hours researching listings for the "Le French May" cultural festival, was told that actually we didn't need the listings.
Shit.
Was informed that I had to cover a wine tasting that evening and a restaurant opening on Sunday.
Shit.
Left work and went home to FlyPad.
Had dinner with Sandy and Christopher, both very tired and jetlagged, but suspiciously energetic as usual.
Checked my mail.
Watched second episode of the US Office. Suprisingly funny.
Watched episode of Malcom in the Middle. Very funny.
Listened to bloody cat meow for an hour. Not so funny.
Went to Wine Tasting in Bar on Peak.
Took Photos
Tasted Wine.
Met PR people.
Went home again to FlyPad and played Hero's Quest 2.
Eventually went out to Bar to meet friend Lauren and friend Tom in Lang Kwai Fong.
Bar had beergarden, so I bought beer in 7-11. They cost roughly 40 cents each.
Drank.
Drank.
Drank.
Met varying different people.
Wanted Cigarette.
Hated smokers.
Drank.
Drrank.
Dkank.
Snrnsk.
People were suddenly very funny, everything was funny. Talked loudly and with much Gusto.
Noticed little anthill on the ground behind where we were sitting.
Was suddenly obsessed with the hilarity of the anthill as it seemed to be making witty comments that paralleled and complimented my own.
Anthill made good point, maybe I was drunk?
Went home drunk.
Staggered past gate-guy. Doorman called elevator and pressed floor button. Said "Good Night!!"
Tried to call Emm, no answer. Sad. Missed her. Maybe cried a little. Drunk.
Slept in clothes on top of bed, air conditioning was too confusing to turn off.

Saturday.

Woke up around two to hear Lauren's story of vomiting in her room the previous night.
Mouth tasted like teeth had melted.
Underwear had ridden up around neck.
Sore throat.
Headache.
Felt Sick.
Hungover.
Went out to find Carmen had set table.
Sandy and Christopher had apparently gone to the cricket club.
Had previously said that would play squash with Christopher on Saturday.
Rang Christopher and recieved rather curt question as to whether I was coming or not.
Was a bit weirded out as didn't want to upset anyone, but said was coming.
Went to club, looked like death, brought squash rackets for expected game.
Upon arrival, realised that I wasn't there for squash as it wasn't just Sandy and Christopher as expected but a group of ten people, all looking very spiffy and well turned out.
All important friends of Christopher's
Was unshaven.
Had just woken up.
Was hungover.
Was the only one there not wearing a polo shirt.
Was Incredibly Embarrassed.
Was increbibly aplogetic.
Apparently Christopher had come in while I was asleep/unconscious and told me about change of plans earlier that day.
No recollection of said information.
None whatsoever.
After lunch, said hesitant goodbye to Christopher's friends, one of whom said he knew the editor of the Hong Kong Standard and would ring him for me. Went to buy little TV for little office in FlyPad.
Returned and set up TV.
Had dinner with Sandy and Christopher.
Tried to call Emma, no answer.
Sad and worried that she might think I wasn't trying to call her, confused as to how to solve the problem.
Went to computer, set it to download more Office, Scubs and Oc episodes from the Interweb. Left it lying upside down on the floor to better allow the air access to fan to keep it cool, thus preventing breakage as things work better when cool, except my throat.
Grew suddenly frustrated by recent lack of writing.
Tried to solve this but ended up playing computer games instead.
Read minute parts of book "The Last Governer" by Johnathan Dimbleby while game was loading. Confusing, slightly boring but informative and useful.
Felt good that I had read a little of a book that I wasn't really enjoying.
Unpleasant sensations are charatcter building.
Eventually was called for dinner.
Ate dinner with Sandy and Christopher. Tasty food.
Went out to same bar and did same thing with same people.
Drank.
Drank.
Drnak.
Met an American guy who used to work in a nuclear missile silo in Germany during the end of the Cold War.
He was a dick. He only liked Asian girls and was creepy.
Drank.
Drnk
Drnk.
Dk.
Intimidated by all women present, didn't know how to relate to them owing to my non-single status and eternal terror and being judged inferior by a female.
Instead, ended up talking with Tom about eighties computer games for a while and sweating in the heat.
Decided Hero's Quest 2 is my favorite game of all time.
Checked for precence opf hallucinatory anthill, but no longer there.
Drank.
Drank.
Watched Lauren Drink.
Wondered about the voint in her room.
Went home, shared taxi with Tom.
Talked about disconcerting effect of many gay men's inability to not take advantage of the fact that due to the laws of PCness, most "cool" straight men are obligated to not get pissed off when said gay men take liberties.
Got out of Taxi.
Waved at man at gate.
He opened gate.
Door man opened door, called elevator, pressed button said "Good Night!!!"
Went to bed, got out of clothes but still forgot about air con.
Tried to ring Emma, didn't get through.
Rang Home.
Talked to Mum, Lachlan, Dave, Sean Katie.
Was Drunk.
Went to sleep at 4:30am.

Sunday
Woke up at 7:00am to Emma calling me.
Called her back.
Had Chats.
Emma was upset, missing me and slightly drunk.
So cute.
Loved her.
Got up.
Hung over like a fox.
Sore throat from sleeping with air con on.
An hour or so later went out to brunch with Sandy and Christopher in Life Cafe, an organic vegan/vegetarian cafe on Escalator.
Had the Shepardess Pie, no meat. Was very tasty. Mango and banana juice a little tasteless.
Had good chats about whole slew of pertinent issues.
Eventually finished brunch and walked around doing some exploring.
Saw some cool shops.
Talked to some weird old women about China.
Saw a tree growing out of a wall twenty feet in the air. Was pretty cool.
Went to IFC for exhibition. Not very impressive but fascinating ideas, based on Chinese cave paintings. Oldest record of Chinese civilisation.
On return to flat around 4, realised that had to go cover the restaurant opening.
Hurried down to "Fat Angelo's"
Went in, family Italian restaurtant, lot's of kids. Not helping Hangover.
Ran into Luke "Takeabreath" Hunt whom I had preciously met in the Foreign Correspondent's club.
Found out that Luke had somehow read my blog entry about him and that he wasn't in fact going out with Diane Stormont. His real girlfriend was unamused by my insinuation.
Very embarrassed.
Downplayed it though. Hopefully
Also found out that Andy, the owner of the Restaurant was another guy I already knew.
Met Chris, he makes documentaries for MSNBC, The Discovery Channel and the National Geographic channel
All good people, many chats were had. Luke still hardcore.
After many beers and Irish coffee's they invited/informed me that there was a thing at the FCC that they were attending and that I should go.
Got Taxi with Chris and Luke, Andy followed behind with others.
Arrived at do, was youngest person there by ten years.
Was a memorial service for the Far Eastern Economic review, apparnty the magazine of substance in Asia that had folded the previous year.
Apparently every heavyweight journailst that had worked in Asia in the previous thirty years was there. People had come from all over the world. these were the people who had shaped Asia with their talent and their tenacity and their journalistic integrity. War correspondents, editors, columnists from every major magazine in the world. People who hadn't seen each other in twenty years.
I was wearing shorts.
I was working for BC magazine, it stands for Bars and Clubs.
Very embarrassed.
Everyone in the room other than me was in some way a heavyweight in their own right.
Was introduced by Andy to the news editor of the International Herald Tribune, he gave me his card.
I didn't have a card.
Very embarrassed.
I didn't want to have to hang off the guys all night because I didn't know them very well and this was such a huge and completely unique event that they wanted to split off on their own to see people they hadn't seen on their own so mostly stood on my own for majority of time there.
Took photos, trioed to keep up pretense that was covering event for BC. Not actually doing so as I knew too little about the night.
Watched speeches. Very cool. Pure vitriol in parts. Dow Jones is a fucker.
Had nothing to offer the conversation of the evening owing to complete ignorance of economics and total inexperience. Tried to stay out of the way.
Felt like others should have been ther but weren't.
Enjoyed myself immensely but was overawed.
Eventually went home, as was getting a little bored and more obviously on my own.
As I went out bumped into Andy, had nice chat about future in Hong Kong. Andy's a nice guy.
Walked to MTR, got train to Happy Valley. As I emerged into Times Square was suprised to find myself alone and confronted by large group of men with pump-action shotguns.
Midnight money transfer, Times Square to Securicor van. Took some blurry photos. Didn't want themn to think I was taking photos to plan a robbery. They look like they're guarding a Starbucks.
On way home passed little bar that looked interesting, went in. Totally empty. Ordered Coke. Cost Equivalent 5 euro.
Shit!
Got bus up hill to FlyPad.
Went up to gate, gate guy opened it up. Doorman called elevator, pressed button. Said "Good Night!!!!!!"Went to bed. Watched episode of Scrubs.
Turned off air conditioner and went to sleep.

SARS 2 - Viral Ninja Gweilo of Death!!!

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Originally uploaded by ruadhraigh.

Well, a lot has happened since my last post. Every night since the first night it occured to me that I was actualy working I've come home from work
(I love saying that...work....work......work wroks!)
and I've thought, "Hey, a lot has happened but I haven't posted any of it on my hot new blog site that all the kids are reading! I haven't fed the pack of ravenous sensationalists at home that hang on my every written word! I have to make sure that everyone knows what's going on in my fabulous new cosmopolitan lifestyle or else they'll grow bored and insecure and find someone to replace me who has a name that's easier to spell and a demeanor that's more entertaining to tolerate!"
Well, luckily for you guys this Rudhraigh Christopher Kevin John McGrath isn't going anywhere eithout one fucker of a fight and I'l take all comers, be it Bob Smith or whatever! Oh yeah! I've known about you guys and Bob Smith! I knew all along! I knew how you were sizing him up, how when I left you thought you could just have him move into my house, wear my dressing gown, drink my tea, watch my movies and make my sardonic comments and that I wouldn't know about it! I knew! Well here's something you didn't know, Bob is a plant! He works for me!! He's been keeping me up to date about all you fools!! I know all your dirty little secrets!! That was your fatal flaw!! Bob was too charming and he listened too well!! For shame you sickos, for shame. You know who you are, and now so do I, and a couple of my trendy new Hong Kong friends too because I tell them everything, we're that close, they're that cool, how we laughed at your perverse monkey antics, ha ha ha ha!!!
So yeah, that's right! I have shit on all of you now, some real dark shit too and it would be a real pity if I had to send the polaroids to your respective family members, especially as some of them are involved.
So when I come back there better still be a Rudhraigh McGrath shaped hole in your life because no mere Bob Smith will do the job. He, unlike you it seems, knows his place.
Anyway, now that that's finally settled we'll say no more about it, you know where I stand and where you kneel, let's get back to the topic at hand.
I started my job in BC magazine on Monday and I was at my first press conference about two hours later. There's a 7 a side tournament coming up with the big players from Arsenal, Man U, Eindhoven, Celtic, Rangers and Aston Villa. Get this, hilariously enough, I of all people have to go and interview all the players about their careers and their experience of HK. This is somewhat like asking the Pope to interview Ron Jeremy, I don't really think I'm the guy to ask to interview Footballers about football, but there you go. At the time I let it slip that because I saw friends playing Championship Manager that knew the names of a couple of the players involved. Apparently that was enough for my new Editor, a very nice, very talkative man called Simon Durrant who then decided that I was one up on the alternative of one of the girls. I think I might ask them why they prefer football to watching Star Trek, it seems only fair, I've had to answer the reverse for most of my life.
Most of my time in the office has spent been doing a fair amount of boring bitch work, putting research stuff into Excel spreadsheets, checking facts, compiling listings. This isn't really that bad, I expected that no matter what they said about "This office is different, we make our interns do important work that they can really learn from", I knew that no human being can turn down the opportunity to make someone else do something boring that you don't want to do, especially when you don't have to pay them for it.
The office is quite small and contains three staff writers [all Chinese girls from America], one editor, one sub-editor, two interns {Including me}, one designer, the publisher {Simon}, one receptionist and three sales personnel.
One of the staff writers is called Elaine, she's Hong Kong Chinese who lived in California, is about nineteen and has been working for BC ever since she finished as an intern after leaving school. She's really nice but quite odd in small ways. She says that her only ambition in life is to work in McDonalds. When I asked why she wanted to work there she replied that she "really likes McDonalds". I keep expecting her to give some sort of ironic snort, but so-far no joy. I think she just really likes McDonalds. Weird.
The other staff writer is a bit of a conundrum owing to the fact that I haven't been introduced to her yet. We've actually chatted about a whole range of subjects, she sits about two meters away from me yet I don't know her name, I chat to people that are further away than her because we haven't been introduced. I think her name is something like Althea, but I'm not really sure. I keep on waiting for one of us to breqak this up but either she doesn't care or I'm too timid. This sort of non-introduction awkwardness is bad enough when you only see that person every once in a while but when you have to sit there for hours it's pretty hard to handle. Actually I'm quite enjoying it, it's quite an odd situation. I like odd situations.
Patrick is the other intern, he's Canadian, and that's about it. As such he's about what you'd expect for a Canadian, speaks French, thinks Budweiser is the "Best Tasting Beer in the World", likes Hockey, says eh?.
In short, he's Canadian. Woo Hoo. Actually I'm giving him a hard time, he's genuinely nice and unassuming, like most Canadians. Damn, I mean, he's not one to get excited. He's quite outdoorsy......Damn, that guy is one incredibly Canadian Candian!!
Actually the fact that he's pretty young initially made me question what the hell I was doing here. Then I found out they get a wide range of people interning there, apparently they have five more of us drudges coming in soon.
The designer is called Henry, he's gay and won't stop staring at me. This is fine, until he starts talking in Chinese to the girls in the office while he's doing it. He talks and stares, pouts occasionally, they laugh and laugh and reply and laugh, he smiles, keeps staring, pouting, they keep laughing. I sit there, not knowing what is being said, assuming the worst, only knowing that I would cut off a toe to find out exactly what was being said. Not my toe of course, someone else's. Mine are too precious.
Liz, the Editor is Americanish New Yorky sardonic sarcasm personified but actually she seems to be pretty nice under it all and also very good at her job. She loves films and I think she's secretly writing a screenplay, I've seen the shape on her screen from my desk but every time I come near her she minimises it. I want to read it, and if it's any good, to steal it. Then I could put my name on it and eventually pitch it, get it green-lighted and made into a major motion picture. Then, inside six months, I'll be living the high life in L.A. doing cocaine off a hooker's back as I drive my Porsche at 120 MPH down the freeway through my tenth homeless guy and as I carelessly miss my fifth pitch meeting of the day. I can't wait, Liz is going to hate me. I'll send her a postcard, I will!
Otherwise, the rest of the office staff don't speak English and while I'm sure they're very nice I'm assuming they probably hate me because I'm white and therefore a foreign devil. Of course this is just a suspicion of mine. It's pretty unfounded and largely down to my inferiority at my minority status but still, they give me the evil eye sometimes when I'm going to the bathroom. I think they think that I don't always wash my hands. Which is untrue. I always wash my hands in public toilets. I'm obsessive about it.
So basically in the last couple of days I've gone to a restaurant and gotten free Thai food and beer while coming up to complete strangers and asking them if I could take their photos, started stealing CD's [they have every single cd ever released in the office] written two cd reviews [one positive and one where I insinutate that the only way that someone could produce such a shit album was if the artist was insane] visited Victoria peak to get ideas for an entry in a tourist guide I now have to write, stolen an idea for an article from another magazine, been given the cover story for the next issue [ooee!] and washed my hands a lot. It seems to be going well, now if only I could stop being so addicted to that stupid StrongBad site I'd be doing well. It's stupid because it illustrates my weakness as a person. That and the hand washing, I should just throw caution to the wind! Germs for all! Atchoo...

Day of Inform-Me.

Titus's concern for Pakistan is touching.
Originally uploaded by ruadhraigh.

Well now that I'm here on my own, I have to say things have changed somewhat. Because Emma left as well as her parents who went to Tokyo for a few days I stayed here on my own to look after Titus the cat. Spending the last couple of days alone in the flat has given me a bit of an opportunity to give myself a kick in the ass, something I think I needed. From here on in I can't in good conscience sit around and do the typical Rudhraigh thing of treating my dressing gown as office dress.
I suppose in a way I could get away with that a little bit more when I was staying here with Emma, it was her house after all, I am her long-term boyfriend, I didn't feel as much of a need to legitimise my presence because I knew Emma wanted me here and since she lives here I had a slight proxy right to be here via her permission. Also she makes great demands upon my time. She doesn't tickle herself into unconsciousness herself goddamn it!
So now I'm here entirely because Emma's parents have demonstrated a downright saintly capacity for tolerance of my some what tiring presence. I'm now living in their flat when their daughter isn't even here, I'm here totally at their leisure and totally due to their innate niceness. This, combined with the fact that Sandy and Christopher are some of the most together and motivated people I've ever conceived of with gym in the morning, work all day and organizing the following day's gym and work in the evening, so I've felt somewhat more motivated to get my act together. As such I've gotten more done in the last few days than I have in the previous month, probably the last year actually. To be honest the last five years of college. So anyway, here's where I stand.
A} Next Monday I start an Internship in BC magazine. It's an unpaid 10 to 6 thingamy at a lifestyle magazine with casual dress, an incredibly rigourous group of job-related activities and an apparently pretty comprehensive expense account. As it's my first full-time job, I'm trying to stop myself from completely freaking out by mentally treating it as a kind of Summer camp, like the fantastic sports-fests I got bundled off to as a kid. Wait, a minute, I hated those things! I always got beaten up!! Those fuckers in BC better not try anything, I've got moves now, I'm a big guy, they try anything and I'll kick their puny little asses for them I will.
B} After the month or so of that I'll probably start something, be it another inernship or more likely an actual job, with an Advertising agency called Get Smart. I'd be writing copy for ads as well as doing some light design work, mostly conceptual stuff which I would then hand on to the company's actual graphic designers. They have a pretty impressive client list for such a small company, which leads me to believe they're pretty damn good. They seem to be anyway.
C} I seem to have about four grand in my bank account and more coming in, so I think I'll be okay for money for the moment.
D} I've been finishing off my TEFL course which leads me to believe that if I really need money quickly I can just get it by doing the odd English class..
E} I'm going to finally start watching the first series of 24, something I've been meaning to do for quite a while now. I've been unable to have a proper conversation with my brother for quite a while due to his obsession with the show and my fear that he'll spoil it for me by accidentally dropping in hints of what's going to happen. Finally I'll be able to sort that out.
Otherwise, being alone for the last few days has been pretty much business as usual. Sleeping, eating, exploring Hong Kong. Sleeping. To be honest I was slightly worried that the solitude might be driving insane but thankfully some light conversation with Titus, the family cat helped me out. He's a smart guy that cat, funny, deep, witty, suprisingly informed on a wide variety of contemporary topics of great and relevant interest. He just has this knack of just seeing past all the bullshit to the core of the subject at hand, like the way Jamie Oliver would be conversationally if he spoke English.
Actually no, not really, Titus is a beautiful fiend. He waltzes in, ignores you, expects you to pay attention to the fact that he's ignoring you and then ignores the fact that you're paying attention to his ignorance. The worst thing is that you keep forgetting how much of an asshole he is because you're just so mesmerised by how damn beautiful he is. A bit like me actually..

Emmasculated.

Well, yesterday Emma went back to London. I'm not sure if there's anyone reading this who doesn't actually know me, and hence this explanation is probably a little redundant but hey, I'm an egoist, I like to think that my crazy, zany activities have attracted a readership of at least one person who doesn't know me. So, as such, this explanation is for you.
I've been going out with Emma for what will be three years in October. We met in college, she was my cousin's flatmate and regardless of what she might say I heinously seduced her as part of my global quest for conquest of all women. Unfortunately for that great endeavour I fell in love with her, thus ending any desire I had to conquer anyone else. As such, since I don't need anyone else, Emma is pretty much all women in the world to me that I'm not actually related to. She's my best friend, I love her.
Now, the problem is that I was two years ahead of Emma in Univertsity back in Ireland. I finished my degree a good two years before she will, so I had to think of something to do that would enable me to still see her and also enable me to get the fuck out of Ireland, a place that I love to hate but a place that just hates me. Fortunately enough her parents live in Hong Kong, the place I decided on moving to. Thanks to their insanely good nature, I'm staying with them until I get a job and/or get an apartment of my own. Emma came over for Easter to see me and see her parents and then yesterday she went home. Now I'm not going to see her for at least two months until she returns after her exams.
Thankfully, she's spending the whole Summer here so in two months I get to see her for ages, but there's still the matter of the two months. We've gone a month before but this is different, we're on opposite sides of the world. I have to say two months seems an eternity right now, comparable to the six thousand miles between us. It's like watching a two month long German silent movie about systematically abusive Nazi faecofeliacs running an pointlessly insane regime of torturous experiments on innocent children in concentration camps. Like waiting for a bus in Birmingham for two months. Like spending two months in a locked room with a Tv showing a looping copy of Batman & Robin. I can go for two months without Emma but it'll be like going for two months without smiling. Watching her leave was like losing an eye. Her leaving makes me feel like I'm a little boy trying not to cry when his puppy got run over.
I know I have to do it, but I don't want to. But I know I have to, but I don't want to. Yet again reality attempts to ruin my life.